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During my burnout, the question kept coming up: Who am I, really? Sure, I knew what I had done over the years and where I came from. But was I still happy with everything I was doing? And so, I entered the research phase.
Profile Test
In the past, I had taken profile tests, and the results were always the same. I was also told that intrinsic values never change. Well, they got that wrong, because in my case, they certainly did. I noticed I had become more sensitive, perhaps even more human.
Now, Google can be quite helpful, and somehow, it once showed me a Freemasons website. But I wasn’t particularly drawn to it at the time—it didn’t resonate with me.
Coaches
I had conversations with coaches due to my burnout, and also with a lifestyle coach. But did they help me with the questions I had? Not really. These were existential questions—questions about existence. They concern “your” being, who you are, the meaning of life, and the deeper foundations of existence. That explanation isn’t entirely complete, but it encapsulated what this research phase was for me.
Religion, Church, Bible
Religion, the church, and the Bible don’t suit me. There are too many rules, and you have to do “something” in a specific way. In other words: dogmas. That’s not for me. I’m a free spirit—I need to think and act freely. My parents always saw me this way and gave me a beautiful sculpture by Piets Althuis called The Free Bird. They gave it to me back in 2009, shortly after my father passed away.
And so, my search led me back to Freemasonry. I started reading more about it online and watching videos on YouTube. My interest grew from there.
As the next step, I reached out to a local lodge. It was simple and low-threshold: I just filled out a form on their website.
Copyright text & image: devrijmetselaar.nl
Texts are based on the ideas and content of the author of devrijmetselaar.nl, reviewed, corrected, and supplemented with the assistance of OpenAI. Images are created based on the ideas of the author of devrijmetselaar.nl using OpenAI/DALL-E.
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